My Joyful Things

As a massive fan of Ninja Book Swap when Bex tweeted about Parcels of Joy I knew it was something I really wanted on board with.  Much as I enjoy getting parcels, I prefer sending them.  Choosing things I think people will love, cracking open the stationery supplies and annoying the Post Office coven by expecting them to help me and refusing to let their scowls erase my "I'm going to beat you into submission with my sunny optimism" grin.  What's not to love?

I'm also a huge believer in spreading a little kindness and the great things that can be achieved with little acts.  J.R.R. Tolkien explains it perfectly:

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The things that bring me the most joy are of course people not things.  That said, people come with a side order of stress headaches, or is that just the people I associate with?  So I'm going to focus on the things that bring me joy that could potentially fit through the letterbox and wouldn't object to being stuffed in a box and posted.

I did try and write this in sentences and paragraphs but one of the things that brings me joy is list making.  In the spirt of joy I even broke out the bullet points.

• Purple Its been my favourite since I learnt the word and I am still as determined to make everything purple as I was when I was 3.  My bike, favourite DMs, satchel, purse, best fountain pen, hair, youngest child's buggy and lots of my other favourite things are all purple. 
• Stationery Actually this is probably an addiction, but an addiction which brings me lots and lots of joy. Bring me all the notebooks, washi tape and pens. I won't actually use them I will just hoard them and go look at the hoard and feel happy and content.  Then maybe a little guilty that I haven't used anything, but that passes quickly.
• Toadstools no idea where this mild obsession comes from.  I have quite the collection spread around the house, from salt and pepper shakers to fridge magnets. Need them all.
• Salt and Pepper Shakers Love me a bit of kitchen kitch.  One of the all time best things g has ever bought me is the Cookie Monster and cookie jar set - he will probably never understand me but g knows how to make me smile.
• Wonder Woman my heroine.  When I grow up I want to be Wonder Woman, the only thing holding me back is my inability to grow up.
• Sunflowers My wedding flowers.  I never fail to smile at their sunny yellow amazingness.
• Fairy Tales Adore Red Riding Hood in all her guises.  But also like the weird and wonderful and because I'm a patriotic wee soul traditional Scottish tales of Selkies, Kelpies and the like.
• Rainbows This list does nothing but demonstrate that I am basically an overgrown toddler and of course rainbows and all their pretty colours appeal.  The fact that they also go hand in hand with puddle jumping may be something to do with the attraction.
• Knee High Socks A completely practical new obsession.  After knackering my ankle I can't really do ankle socks.  Unfortunately, I have a calf girth that only an East German shot put champion would envy and it is a struggle finding any that fit.  Also where are all the pretty knee high socks? I can only find boring and plain ones.  I like my socks with a side order of mental and enough colours to counter the fact that every other stitch of my clothing is black.
• Coffee I'm not sure I can put it into words.  Without coffee the world is a bleaker place for me and also for everyone who has the misfortune to come near a decaffeinated me!
• Capybaras They just make me happy in a way that I really don't want to understand.  I do love them I do!

I could go on.  I haven't mentioned stars, zombies, celtic mythology, maltesers or acrylic jewellery. This might be why the Post Office coven can't dull my sparkle, there really is quite a lot of joy to be found.

Hitting the reset button

Well I've been a bit quiet for a while!  With 2 it's a lot easier to pretend that I'm far too busy. Of course I'm only fooling myself, and then only because I have my fingers in my ears singing 'la la la' to drown out the voice of reason.

I seem to have bought into the delusion that being a good Mum means completely sacrificing my needs and desires. With one child this is lunacy. With two children and an 8 year age gap it is dangerous. I'm not daft, I know this. So why has it been so easy to slip into these bad habits?

I am the first to preach that a happy primary carer is more important to a child's well being than anything. More important than the sex or sexual orientation of that primary carer, whether the child was breastfed, looked after while parents work or what the latest Daily Mail scaremongering is banging on about now. A happy (in this case) Mummy makes everything else possible. It's just when it comes to practising what I preach it goes a bit, ok a lot, wrong.

I haven't been making time to do many of the things that make me feel good. Spending the days catering to the every whim of two tiny tyrants at the expense of me. So when the kids are finally tucked up in bed I'm spent and then vegetating in front of the tv. Binging on trash. I'm not saying anything against trash tv, my love of it runs deep. So deep that I managed to watch an entire season of Once Upon a Time in 3 days. Whilst still being that 'no tv during the day' parent. Yep that's 22 episodes and approximately 17 hours of tv crammed into 3 evenings. Well, I say evenings but there were some pretty late nights going on there.

This morning I had a bit of a revelation. Unfortunately, it was less of the sun breaking through the clouds and more me completely loosing the rag with smudge. Not proud of this. Still falling victim to the tingly nose and wobbly bottom lip when I think about my shouting. But that's the killer about focusing completely on the kids. When they are little shits there is no way to explain it all away. 

Because, lets face it little shits they will be. Sometimes rarely, often not for very long. Sometimes because they have ASD and it's the summer holidays and plans change they can be quite spectacularly big shits. 

Even then I don't want to be 'ragey mama' I want to be calm and zen and floaty hippy skirted, lentil weaving mama. Except I'll probably stick to jeans and I'm still not sure I actually like lentils.

So I'm going to be a bit more selfish. I'm going to float through the day by remembering to take 15 minutes in the morning to meditate. I'm going to look dreamily at the clock and panic about what to feed everybody with because I've spent the afternoon lost in a book while the kids go feral. And I'm going to blog about all the fun I'm having and how much better family life is when I look after me.

And when I get it all wrong and scream like a banshee. I can blame all the time I spent neglecting them. Rather than feeling like a complete mug.

Guilty Pleasures

I don't really feel guilty about pleasure.

That said. I don't drink, smoke or partake in legal or illegal highs, or lows. The things that bring me pleasure are nothing to feel guilty about.

When I'm neglecting everything and everyone, sorry kids, with my nose in a book I am taking care of my mental faculties and setting a great example for the kids to read more.

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My coffee is fair trade so the more I drink the better for farmers in South America. If anyone ever works out just how much Cafe Direct Machu Picchu coffee I consume there will be a Peruvian village hastily renamed "Boobellinaville".

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Some may say my stationery hoard is out of control. I know how much people appreciate a handwritten note. Those cards, notepaper, stickers and washi spread joy and random acts of kindness.

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So there will be no guilt as a side order to my pleasure. Really I'm doing it all for someone else.

Currently

As my lack of recent posts might suggest I seem to have misplaced my blogging mojo. It might have been put out with a dirty nappy, sterilised with a bottle or just have run away from the chaos. So when I read Bex's Currently post a wee lightbulb appeared over my head and I'm unashamed to be rocking the copycat vibes.

Reading

I'm reading loads at the moment - 6 books so far this month, boom. But I'm not going to talk about any of them, brilliant as most of them were.

I'm loving is It's Time to Sleep, My Love. It has a panda on the front cover so of course smudge wanted to buy it for puff and I'm so glad she caught me on a weak willpower day. It is such a lovely wee story to read to a sleepy baby and the illustrations are beautiful.

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Hysterically, smudge heard me reading it to her baby sister and was a bit put out. Her new bedtime routine is a chapter of something age appropriate and this - she's 9 years old!

Watching

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SOA baby. 

I love the escapism of a Californian Motorcycle club and have to admit that despite the fact he definitely looks like he is need of a long bath and a good scrub Jax Teller might play a small part in the attraction of this show! 

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Listening

My November Prudence and the Crow box came with a mix CD. It's in the Kitchen CD player so I can dance around singing into a wooden spoon as I puree all the veg a growing baby consumes.

Recommending

Not really recommending more of a forcing everyone to agree with me on how brilliant they are by buying all the small children I know Blade and Rose leggings. Puff now has a few pairs of these and I am awestruck by just how good they are. They look amazing, are lovely and warm and just fit so much better for small wigglers than ordinary lycra leggings. I would love to post a picture of puff rocking them but all I can manage is a blurry fuzz - she just refuses to sit still!

Loving

Still loving winter and the boot wearing opportunities it provides. I did have a momentary wobble about what I am every going to wear on my feet when summer arrives. It didn't last long, I remembered I live in the west coast of Scotland, summer is months away and surely I can put up with non-boot footwear for 3 days. My purple DM triumphs are still going strong and I fall more in love with them every time I wear them. Which seeing as they seem to be surgically attached to my feet at the moment is saying something.

Making

I made the most delicious Herby Cobbler for tea on Thursday. Seeing as I'm the only one who enjoys lamb I decided to be wonderfully unselfish and substitute the lamb for stewing steak. Served with mash it was a perfect tea for a cold night and worth the faff of the preparation. 

That said, next time I'm substituting the baby onions for a couple of normal ones sliced!

Anticipating

I've got a really busy week coming up - something fun in every box of the next weeks filofax page. Brand new babies to visit, catching up with people and generally opportunities to drink coffee and eat cake. The best kind of week then. 

Leibster Award

I've been nominated for a Liebster Award by the fantabulous Nomad Seeks Home.

Now before you all get carried away, like I did, thinking of glittering award ceremonies, cocktail dresses and gushing speeches this is more of a chain letter linking to lots of other blogs. But it involves listing and nosiness so I am in!

The deal is:

• post 11 facts about you.
• Answer the 11 questions set my your nominator.
• Nominate and link to 11 blogs with fewer than 200 followers. Like Nomad Seeks Home I've gone by Bloglovin followers. 
• Set 11 questions for your nominees.
• And an important one for me - remember to let your nominees know you've tagged them

11 facts about moi

1. Caffeine is my friend. And also the reason that I am able to function at all before 11am.
2. I am a complete night owl and hate getting up every single morning. Ideally I would sleep until noon and not go to bed until 5am. Unfortunately, the school run clashes with this way of life.
3. I can't spell for tofie toffy toffee and still have to repeat b, bat then ball or d, drum then stick if I'm tired.
4. Despite my crappy spelling and dyslexic tendencies I'm a passionate hand-writer. All my blog posts are drafted in a notebook. I can't think properly at a computer screen and am far too easily distracted by twitter and pintrest. 
5. I am the proud owner of a scary long term memory. I have crystal clear memories right back to getting a scooter for my 3rd birthday. Short term is not so reliable and names never stick.
6. Still searching for spirituality. I've explored Christianity, Paganism and Buddhism. Still looking.
7. I have tried (several times) to have serious apocalypse planning discussions with g. His refusal to contribute means he's is an integral part of my plan - zombie bait!
8.  Despite making tonnes of them I hate cup cakes. I have an alternative name that I probably shouldn't tell you here, but it starts with the same first 2 letters!
9. Oh I swear like a sailor. Most of the time I reign it in for the sake of children and my mum. But when I get excited, cross, nervous, etc the air goes a bit blue.
10. I am a champion level procrastinator.
11. I hate coconut. I can tolerate coconut milk, but desiccated coconut is, as far as I'm concerned, the devil's dandruff. The smell of coconut, especially hair products makes me nauseous. 

Nomad Seeks Home's questions answered

1. What's number 1 on your bucket list?
   I don't really have a bucket list as such but I really want to do Christmas in New York. Elf style.
2. Why did you start blogging?
   I've always written. Blogging is about pushing me out of my comfort zone and seeing if anyone can make sense of my ramblings.
3. What's the most beautiful location you've ever found yourself in?
   Last year we holidayed on the Isles of Lewis and Harris in the Outer Hebridies. It was spectacular, see below...
4. Who dropped the screw in the tuna? If you can't answer this then your not around my age, ha ha.
   Google to the rescue. Kenan and Kel. I am obviously an auld bird, because I still have no idea what this is all about.
5. What is your perfect snack?
   Maltesers
6. Sweet or savoury?
   Sweet. I keep trying to quit sugar and falling of the wagon into a packet of maltesers.
7. What is your dream job?
   Published writer.
8. Celebrity crush?
   They haven't changed in nearly 20 years! Johnny Depp and Ewan McGregor.
9. Vintage or new clothes?
   I love the idea of vintage but never find anything fabulous. I compromise with new vintage Lindy Bop or Tiger Milly are current favourites.
10. What is your favourite book?
    Witch Light by Susan Fletcher
11. Have you been to any blogger events?
    Nope, am a newbie and finding my feet first.

My nominees are

Bead it and Weep
Cupcake Mumma
Duck in a Dress
Flat Out Glasgow
Foodie Historian
Glasgow Dragonfly
Glasgow Mummy
Hungry Squirrels
Olive Dragonfly
Plastic Rosaries
Smart Creative

My 11 questions are

1. What was your proudest moment?
2. When was the last time you cried and why?
3. What are you currently raving about?
4. What is your favourite/spirit animal?
5. What's your guiltiest pleasure?
6. What would make it as your weirdest superstition or ritual?
7. Excluding people or pets what would you rescue if your house was on fire?
8. If you don't recognise the number how you answer the phone? Do you have a posh phone voice?
9. What was your last google search for?
10. Where do you write?
11. Lets get materialistic, what have you spent a fortune on and never regretted even one shiny penny of it?

Dragon Loves Penguin

Jocelyn over at the Reading Residence reviewed Dragon Loves Penguin a wee while back and I liked what I read enough to pick up a copy when I was in my favourite book shop.  

We are already Debi Gliori fans. No Matter What has been a post meltdown favourite for a long time. Read so often I now know it off by heart. We've also been reading Witch Baby and Me together, which is turning out to be a spectacularly bad choice in the run up to smudge becoming a big sister. She is going to be so upset when her little sister can't transform her into a slug or levitate the fridge.

So I was looking forward to a beautifully illustrated wee story about a dragon and a penguin. I got rather more than I expected.

Unfortunately, so did smudge. Despite her protestations that she is far to big for 'that' kind of story, she was snuggled in beside me as I was unable to read due to crying all the tears at the poor dragon with no egg.

I was/am the dragon and oh the sobs when I learnt that smudge is my penguin.

This book perfectly summed up infertility, my becoming a parent and parenting a child with additional needs. It does it gently, kindly and with the most gorgeous illustrations.

It lead to a great discussion. 'Why didn't dragon have an egg?' 'Like your broken tummy?'. 'Where  has the penguin that laid the egg gone? ' 'Do you think my birth mum got eaten by an Orca?' 

Smudge knows all these things but it can't be a bad thing to keep the lines of communication open and this marvellous book provides an easy way in. 

It's already a firm favourite in this house and I have a sneaking suspicion it will remain so for quite some time. It turns out even terribly grown up penguins like a wee snuggle with a dragon for a story.

The Guilt

I've been reading up a storm the last couple of days and am just a little proud of my progress. As I headed through to the kitchen to tidy up before bed I was for once not beating myself up. G is on backshift and instead of my usual brain dead evening in front of mindless TV I read a book. And not just any book. A classic. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Even typing Steinbeck makes me feel good. Admittedly, it isn't a very long book but nonetheless an improvement on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

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In the kitchen I was pottering; washing the dishes, listening to Today in Parliament, treating devil puss to milk and trying to decide what to read next. By the time I switched off the light I was no longer proud of myself. The Guilt had returned. As a self confessed procrastinator I am familiar with that small nagging voice asking me when exactly I plan to get started with whatever I'm putting off. The Guilt is not that friendly voice.

The Guilt is mean. Harsh, cutting and horribly astute. Tonight Guilt started when looking at the mess of the kitchen windowsill. The problem with the Guilt is that it doesn't stop with a gentle reminder to clear off, wipe down and tidy up my greenhouse/gallery/dumping ground of a kitchen windowsill. No the Guilt continues to remind me that I didn't hang the washing out or hoover or mop or do any of the other mundane but essential jobs that I had mentally listed for today.

But still the Guilt keeps on at me. If I haven't been bothering to tidy or clean the house I should have at least been doing something productive. A glance at the kitchen calendar notifies the Guilt that my plans to menu plan and online shop have also come to naught - thanks Steinbeck!

I try to defend myself. I was reading, it's really important to read if I want my writing to sing. Stephen King told me. The Guilt laughs. "Write? When did you last pick up a pen?"

Well you know what Guilt you're right. I am a lousy housewife and proud that my life is too interesting to care about a pristine show-home. But I care about writing. I delayed my plans for bed and wrote. Now I'm off to make a to do list for tomorrow.

I'm fed up having to listen to your nagging so it looks like I might have to get organised, a little more productive and make you shut the hell up. 

Malteser justification

Missing - one mojo. If found please return to the human sloth slumped in 'her' armchair, binge watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and probably snacking.

I was doing so well with cutting out sugar. I was loving writing lots and blogging away. I'd even been reading up a storm, powering through the books.

Then I stopped. 

I didn't get distracted and move on to something new. I've just entered a semi-comatose state.

I blame g. He's buggered off on holiday without me. He's actually on an intensive training course down near that London. But let's face it anywhere with food you don't have to cook yourself and no children is a holiday camp.

Me, bitter? I have no idea what you are talking about.

So while he is having a lovely time sending me what's apps of white deer in the grounds of the spectacular estate he is slumming it in. I am keeping the home fires burning. Keeping our child alive, dog walking, house stuff and the vain attempt to stop devil puss decimating the local sparrow population. Sometimes all at once.

This morning I went into the kitchen to get smudge breakfast. It ended in multi-tasking. 

I prepared a nutritionally balanced breakfast for my child - yep opened the box of frosties poured into a bowl and added milk, whilst educating her on avian biology using the sparrow remains on the door mat as a learning aid. I disinfected the floor, made a packed lunch, set the washing machine to wash the door mat - again! And combined washing the other bits of dead sparrow off the dog, who rolls in the bodies, with giving the garden a water. 

I didn't get any breakfast. I made myself a smoothie to drink on the way to work but forgot to take it with me and it spent the day making a lovely dark ring mark on my TV unit.

Is it any wonder I'm not feeling particularly energised or invigorated? These maltesers aren't a snack they're medication. I'd still be sugar free if I could buy valium in Asda!

Review - Clan of the Cave Bear

Clan of the Cave Bear is the first of the Earth's Children series of books.  They've been on my to read list for ages, but then which book isn't?  I liked the idea of pre-historic fiction and had heard that Jean M Auel brings our very early ancestors to life. 

So why was this such a difficult book to review? 

I enjoyed it. I liked the story. Ayla is orphaned by an earthquake at 5 and found close to death by a neanderthal medicine woman and adopted. The book follows her childhood with the neanderthal clan of the cave bear struggling to adapt and survive as an outsider. Ayla is Cro-Magnon so looks, thinks and behaves very differently from her family.

In the pursuit of 'what happens next' I can forgive most things. But that is not to say that they don't bother me. My main irk was the overly long and frequent descriptions of plants. Sometimes gathered for food, sometimes for medicinal purposes. I couldn't help but feel that this was Auel's need to show just how much research had been done. I am now quite confident that should I ever fall into a wormhole and end up in the Ice Age I at least won't go hungry.

I am in no position to judge how accurately she has portrayed day to day neanderthal life. I'm a little ashamed to admit that the sum of my knowledge may have been gleaned from the Friends episode where Ross and Rachel 'sleep over' at the museum.

But I was often left wondering how such complicated 'conversations' could be taking place without words only using hand gestures. But if you can suspend belief for a wee while and enjoy the ride it is good fun. 

I took it back to the library feeling glad that I had read this one but with no great desire to read any more in the series. And then left the library with The Valley of the Horses the 2nd book in the Earth's Children series because my need to know what happens next is just too damn strong!

Wish list

I'm a list maker. I use wunderlist on my tech, but my favourite is obviously a pen and papery list. Bulleted with little stars, beautifully handwritten and space for a big tick when the task is complete. Making me far happier than it really should.

I list everything. From things that area already overdue to books I want to read. Last night in the midst of a healthy eating wobble rather than heading to the kitchen to binge on smudge's left over easter eggs I wrote a list. A muckle long list of all the food I wanted.

It was actually a really useful exercise. It was fun admitting I wanted maltesers, chip butties and jammy donuts. Especially without the guilt of actually eating them.

I use lists to calm me. During Tuesday's pity party listing featured. Two great big lists. One of things that make me smile, one of things that make me cry. The smile list was lots easier to write so I took comfort from that. But mainly I took comfort from the scratchy noise of my pen on the paper and the sense of achievement I always feel filling a page.

Since I'm a list maker extraordinaire it won't come as a surprise to learn I've used goal setting lists for a long time. I love looking back months down the line to see that normally I've done pretty well. At least with the realistic ones!

If writing in a notebook is powerful then maybe putting that writing out into cyberspace will make it supercharged. So my current goals are:-

• Celebrating Christmas with 2 children this year.
• Reading 50 books in 2014.
• Spending my birthday comfortably wearing the size 12 jeans hanging in my wardrobe. 
• Getting paid for my writing. 

Home Sweet Home

I'm a bit of a homebody. For me one of the best bits about a holiday or even weekend away is coming home, putting my key in the lock and knowing that waiting for me are all my favourite things, all in their allotted places. I love going away, it's just that for me coming home is an integral part of the experience.

I've posted before about Nana's bureau which might be my favourite place. But it might not be, I also love the weird hall bit between my living room and kitchen. The previous owners of our house added a great wrap round extension and there is a odd non-room area between my living room and the end of the kitchen where the table lives. It's too wide to be a corridor but hard to furnish or use because it needs to be kept clear so that ravenous children and husbands have a clear run to the table. On viewing the house I knew instantly what I was going to do with it, it was just a matter of finding book cases that worked in the space.

I was really lucky that the sizes worked perfectly with the very reasonably priced Ikea Expedit. I love that the furniture is all white as it really lightens what could be a dark area. Filling the shelves with books didn't prove to be an issue and I've had to get creative with the space as g is increasing concerned that the weight of still boxed books in our loft might bring down the ceiling.

I also had to accept that I was going to have to sacrifice 4 valuable shelves so that we had somewhere to put all of the pens, pencils, multicoloured papers, glitter glues, stickers and craft gubbins that smudge can't live without. Where could she have picked up this love of stationery???

The whole area was brought to life by the addition of a church pew.

Mind not just any church pew. This is a pew from the church g and I got married in. When the spectacularly beautiful Coldingham Priory was getting a facelift my Mum and Dad gave us one of the reconditioned pews as an anniversary present. It's the perfect place to sit and try to work out what I should read next.

We're all gonna die!!!

As soon as I read that today's #BEDM was about sci-fi I knew it was the perfect opportunity to get all up in your face about the apocalypse. My all time favourite genre has to be 'the world as we know it has ended /is ending'

Some of my favourites are here. A slightly longer list than I had anticipated. I know that lots of the titles have been turned into films and I'm trusting I don't need to get all evangelical about how much more amazing the book always is...

What works for me is that all my problems seem rather daft when I'm immersed in a world with more zombies that people or where there are only a handful of survivors after a super flu pandemic. Whether to paint the living room daffodil white or white birch isn't quite as pressing as fight or flight and while my bank manager might disagree, my overdraft is not quite as blood curdling as a plague of vampires created by the US Army banging at my door.

So if the world as we know it is about to end then despite my penchant for ridiculously high heels and perfecting my eyeliner flicks I'm your go to gal. I know that in our shed the crowbar is my go to zombie killing tool. I also know where it is and where the smaller crow bar is so that I can arm smudge. Although the thought of arming my 8 year old is actually more terrifying than the undead.

I am constantly aware that there is never enough food to keep us for long here but we can bike to my mother-in-laws. Bikes are good, they are quiet so as not to wake the zombies and don't need petrol which just won't be easy to get when the end of days comes. My mother-in-law's because that woman obviously knows something we don't and has been hoarding for years. The other distinct advantage of her house is it's proximity to an M&S food hall which will be ripe for looting. Just because it's the apocalypse doesn't mean I'm going to want to give up Percy Pigs!

5 Favourite Posts - errrm

Well this is awkward. How do I choose my five favourite blog posts when I only have five previous blog posts? So I'm going to go slightly off topic for todays #BEDM.  

Writing yesterday about what my blog is about got me thinking about what I want to write about and in a genuine coincidence I came up with five. So in no particular order:-

My daughter is adopted. We're in the process of adopting number 2. I'm passionate about my daughter and the sad stories that make us a family. I'm pretty sure that there will be times when I use this blog to vent about the inadequacies and failings of our system for protecting vulnerable children. But I also want to shout about what a great thing adoption is and how grateful I am that I get to be a Mum.

As a chaotic, disorganised mess of a person it is of no surprise that I am chaotic, disorganised mess of a parent. Very occasionally I manage to get something right and you'd better believe that I'm going to shout about that. I am also more than willing to share tales of woe and disaster. Expect many more of the latter than the former!

I am evangelical about the restorative powers of a bit of fiction and the escape a good book can offer. It will be a minor miracle if this doesn't creep into the blog. Also expect to find reviews of book shops. I have just worked out that this is a flawless way of justifying hours spent amongst the shelves. Although I'm not sure how I'll justify the bags of books I will doubtless bring home, will work that one out when I get to it.

I'm lucky enough to be living in a house we plan to be in for a good wee while. When we bought it we believed that nothing needed doing and that a wee lick of paint every now and again would be all it needed. Don't worry we weren't under that illusion for long. In the two years we've lived here the garden has been redesigned, a bedroom has been added and my list of projects just keeps getting longer. The only issue is cashflow. Even with g being a guru of DIY and doing everything himself it is going to be interesting working out how we get the place looking the way we want it to with the money we don't have.

I started cooking aged 11 during a decade long foray into vegetarianism and have been playing in the kitchen ever since. I'm a feeder and love entertaining family and friends. When I became a stay-home-Mum I started baking a lot more, it was a brilliant way of making the other Mummy's like me and encourage them and their little darlings to come and keep me and smudge company. Baking to mask massive insecurity and social anxiety, hell yeah!

Witch Light by Susan Fletcher

I picked up this book in my favourite bookshop, the Bookmark in Grantown-on-Spey. When the wonderful Marjory got to it in my rather large pile of booty (see below) she was full of praise, making me promise I would e-mail my thoughts when I finished it.  So expectations were high.

Heck, expectations were high based on a number of facts: The book is about a young woman being accused of witchcraft in the 17th century, a subject I've been interested in since school.  A large part of the novel takes place in Glencoe around the massacre, an area I love and a historical event that morbidly fascinates many, myself included.  All this expectation was weighing on me so despite my initial excitement I shelved this and left it to cool off for a couple of months.

I shouldn't have bothered, this book didn't just exceed my expectations it smashed them.  I can't even begin to describe what I liked best, I still haven't come close to deciding.  Witch Light has everything.  The interwoven stories of Corrag and Charles Leslie and the impact their meeting has on the other are compelling and would be enough alone to have had me waxing lyrical but the way in which Susan Fletcher writes is just mesmerising, lyrical and poetic.  I can't recall ever having read something that transported me so completely.  3D writing, I was there seeing, smelling, hearing and feeling as Corrag.

Then like the icing on the cake, the theme of love being Corrag's true magic.  Not just her love for Alasdair but the healing powers of allowing herself to love first her grey mare, then Glencoe and it's people and ultimately how her story enchants Charles Leslie and transforms the dour, hate filled church man.  His later letters home to his wife are heart wrenchingly beautiful and such a contrast to those we first read.

I don't think I've read anything that comes close to this book and if I'm honest I'm not sure I ever will again.  I don't mind.  Witch Light was good enough to keep me warm for lots of cold Glencoe winter nights to come, but I am winter born!