Leibster Award

I've been nominated for a Liebster Award by the fantabulous Nomad Seeks Home.

Now before you all get carried away, like I did, thinking of glittering award ceremonies, cocktail dresses and gushing speeches this is more of a chain letter linking to lots of other blogs. But it involves listing and nosiness so I am in!

The deal is:

• post 11 facts about you.
• Answer the 11 questions set my your nominator.
• Nominate and link to 11 blogs with fewer than 200 followers. Like Nomad Seeks Home I've gone by Bloglovin followers. 
• Set 11 questions for your nominees.
• And an important one for me - remember to let your nominees know you've tagged them

11 facts about moi

1. Caffeine is my friend. And also the reason that I am able to function at all before 11am.
2. I am a complete night owl and hate getting up every single morning. Ideally I would sleep until noon and not go to bed until 5am. Unfortunately, the school run clashes with this way of life.
3. I can't spell for tofie toffy toffee and still have to repeat b, bat then ball or d, drum then stick if I'm tired.
4. Despite my crappy spelling and dyslexic tendencies I'm a passionate hand-writer. All my blog posts are drafted in a notebook. I can't think properly at a computer screen and am far too easily distracted by twitter and pintrest. 
5. I am the proud owner of a scary long term memory. I have crystal clear memories right back to getting a scooter for my 3rd birthday. Short term is not so reliable and names never stick.
6. Still searching for spirituality. I've explored Christianity, Paganism and Buddhism. Still looking.
7. I have tried (several times) to have serious apocalypse planning discussions with g. His refusal to contribute means he's is an integral part of my plan - zombie bait!
8.  Despite making tonnes of them I hate cup cakes. I have an alternative name that I probably shouldn't tell you here, but it starts with the same first 2 letters!
9. Oh I swear like a sailor. Most of the time I reign it in for the sake of children and my mum. But when I get excited, cross, nervous, etc the air goes a bit blue.
10. I am a champion level procrastinator.
11. I hate coconut. I can tolerate coconut milk, but desiccated coconut is, as far as I'm concerned, the devil's dandruff. The smell of coconut, especially hair products makes me nauseous. 

Nomad Seeks Home's questions answered

1. What's number 1 on your bucket list?
   I don't really have a bucket list as such but I really want to do Christmas in New York. Elf style.
2. Why did you start blogging?
   I've always written. Blogging is about pushing me out of my comfort zone and seeing if anyone can make sense of my ramblings.
3. What's the most beautiful location you've ever found yourself in?
   Last year we holidayed on the Isles of Lewis and Harris in the Outer Hebridies. It was spectacular, see below...
4. Who dropped the screw in the tuna? If you can't answer this then your not around my age, ha ha.
   Google to the rescue. Kenan and Kel. I am obviously an auld bird, because I still have no idea what this is all about.
5. What is your perfect snack?
   Maltesers
6. Sweet or savoury?
   Sweet. I keep trying to quit sugar and falling of the wagon into a packet of maltesers.
7. What is your dream job?
   Published writer.
8. Celebrity crush?
   They haven't changed in nearly 20 years! Johnny Depp and Ewan McGregor.
9. Vintage or new clothes?
   I love the idea of vintage but never find anything fabulous. I compromise with new vintage Lindy Bop or Tiger Milly are current favourites.
10. What is your favourite book?
    Witch Light by Susan Fletcher
11. Have you been to any blogger events?
    Nope, am a newbie and finding my feet first.

My nominees are

Bead it and Weep
Cupcake Mumma
Duck in a Dress
Flat Out Glasgow
Foodie Historian
Glasgow Dragonfly
Glasgow Mummy
Hungry Squirrels
Olive Dragonfly
Plastic Rosaries
Smart Creative

My 11 questions are

1. What was your proudest moment?
2. When was the last time you cried and why?
3. What are you currently raving about?
4. What is your favourite/spirit animal?
5. What's your guiltiest pleasure?
6. What would make it as your weirdest superstition or ritual?
7. Excluding people or pets what would you rescue if your house was on fire?
8. If you don't recognise the number how you answer the phone? Do you have a posh phone voice?
9. What was your last google search for?
10. Where do you write?
11. Lets get materialistic, what have you spent a fortune on and never regretted even one shiny penny of it?

Mine's a latte

I am an incredibly open person - I know I bet you'd never have guessed! I don't really keep much hidden. I am comfortable talking to anyone about really personal and delicate subjects. 

So it strikes me as very weird the relationship I have with alcohol.  I don't really drink anymore but I avoid telling people this. To join in with conversations I will even create the impression that I like a glass of wine or 6. I make convoluted excuses about having the car or needing to be up early for smudge the next morning. Even some of my nearest and dearest don't know that nowadays I am practically tee total.  

I used to love a few wines with the girls, a g&t before Sunday dinner, a few vodkas before making an eejit of myself on the dance floor or if the sun was shining well that's Kopparberg elderflower and lime time. Then the depression hit and one of the quirks was that even one glass of alcohol made me violently ill. I was struggling with near crippling social anxiety and it would have been easy to use alcohol as a crutch. Did my body protect me by employing projectile vomiting as an anti-drinking measure? 

I can't really explain why I'm not drinking anymore. It doesn't make me ill to have a few drinks. I just don't want to. I just wish I knew why it was so difficult for me to be honest. I'd rather have a coffee.

Dragon Loves Penguin

Jocelyn over at the Reading Residence reviewed Dragon Loves Penguin a wee while back and I liked what I read enough to pick up a copy when I was in my favourite book shop.  

We are already Debi Gliori fans. No Matter What has been a post meltdown favourite for a long time. Read so often I now know it off by heart. We've also been reading Witch Baby and Me together, which is turning out to be a spectacularly bad choice in the run up to smudge becoming a big sister. She is going to be so upset when her little sister can't transform her into a slug or levitate the fridge.

So I was looking forward to a beautifully illustrated wee story about a dragon and a penguin. I got rather more than I expected.

Unfortunately, so did smudge. Despite her protestations that she is far to big for 'that' kind of story, she was snuggled in beside me as I was unable to read due to crying all the tears at the poor dragon with no egg.

I was/am the dragon and oh the sobs when I learnt that smudge is my penguin.

This book perfectly summed up infertility, my becoming a parent and parenting a child with additional needs. It does it gently, kindly and with the most gorgeous illustrations.

It lead to a great discussion. 'Why didn't dragon have an egg?' 'Like your broken tummy?'. 'Where  has the penguin that laid the egg gone? ' 'Do you think my birth mum got eaten by an Orca?' 

Smudge knows all these things but it can't be a bad thing to keep the lines of communication open and this marvellous book provides an easy way in. 

It's already a firm favourite in this house and I have a sneaking suspicion it will remain so for quite some time. It turns out even terribly grown up penguins like a wee snuggle with a dragon for a story.

Buy all the things - NOW

I have gone into meltdown. G unfortunately knows the warning signs and has already hidden not only the plastic cards but also all statements - yeah you can totally get the card numbers off them for internet shopping. If you have the foresight to memorise a couple of end dates and pesky security codes.

The reason for the meltdown and manic need to buy all the things is that Social Work have come through. Yep after months of, not so patient, waiting our Social Worker phoned us on Wednesday with the news that they have found us number 2.

On Thursday morning we met with our social worker and the child's social worker to talk through the next stages and I can't see me getting many 'I hate waiting' moaning blog posts written in the meantime. 

Our second child is a wee girl who has just turned 4 months old and it looks like she might be home by October. Or sooner - hence the meltdown!

At the moment I am fixated on the big items: buggies, car seats, cots and highchairs. Mainly because I want to get these out the way so that I can start planning her wardrobe. Although it has to be said that I am already aware that this is a minefield.  Smudge has very firm views on what her little sister will and will not be wearing - although I'm not exactly going to complain too loudly when this is what smudge is obsessing over.

{image source}

A boring business envelope

I love receiving mail. Today the postman brought something even better than a stickered and washi taped envelope from a #postcircle friend. Today's envelope was a white windowed DL. This boring business envelope was from the doctor.

It was about the mole that had changed. The one they prodded, photographed and pulled out with a piece of equipment they describe as an apple corer. The mole that was was waking me up in the middle of the night to spend dark and lonely hours trying to convince myself that everything was going to be alright.

Well it turns out that yes the mole was misbehaving but not in a cancerous way. 

The hole in my leg is as far as this adventure goes.

I can go to sleep tonight without a 3am panic. Well actually I'll probably find something else to have a 3am panic about but at least it won't be cancer.