Monday, 25 August 2014

Mine's a latte

I am an incredibly open person - I know I bet you'd never have guessed! I don't really keep much hidden. I am comfortable talking to anyone about really personal and delicate subjects. 

So it strikes me as very weird the relationship I have with alcohol.  I don't really drink anymore but I avoid telling people this. To join in with conversations I will even create the impression that I like a glass of wine or 6. I make convoluted excuses about having the car or needing to be up early for smudge the next morning. Even some of my nearest and dearest don't know that nowadays I am practically tee total.  

I used to love a few wines with the girls, a g&t before Sunday dinner, a few vodkas before making an eejit of myself on the dance floor or if the sun was shining well that's Kopparberg elderflower and lime time. Then the depression hit and one of the quirks was that even one glass of alcohol made me violently ill. I was struggling with near crippling social anxiety and it would have been easy to use alcohol as a crutch. Did my body protect me by employing projectile vomiting as an anti-drinking measure? 

I can't really explain why I'm not drinking anymore. It doesn't make me ill to have a few drinks. I just don't want to. I just wish I knew why it was so difficult for me to be honest. I'd rather have a coffee.


  1. I found this really interesting. I have never been a big drinker - I like a couple of pints or glasses of wine, but I Really Really hate being drunk. Too many years working in bars, living in the city centre and wanting to be safe getting buses and walking home, perhaps. I am a bit like you though, in that when I am very stressed or down, I don't drink. It's almost subconscious, rather than physical, but at the moment while life is really hard, the last things I want to do are have a drink or a bar of chocolate. Odd. Maybe our bodies know us better than our minds do!

    1. Gwen, I'm so sorry to hear that life is hard at the moment. Listen to your body, especially if it is suggesting cups of tea and cat cuddles.

      If there is anything I can do or say to help you get your sparkle back please let me know - and am always up for a wee trip through to Auld Reekie to sample their coffee selling establishments xxx

  2. I'm not much of a drinker myself - it doesn't really appeal to me. Sometimes we just don't discuss things with people. Btw, I've nominated you for the Liebster Award! Take a look here :)