Gadgets

I am a big fan of a gadget. Be it bedecked with an apple logo, kindle shaped, heck even though I am more than capable of reading a map sat nav is mind blowing. But the gadget that I refuse to live without is my Kenwood Chef. It is not glamorous, it isn't even that pretty but wowee my cakes owe everything to this baby.

I'm not going to pretend that I have the patience or indeed the upper body stregth to cream butter and sugar to the pale whippidy goodness that this can and when it comes to mixing colours through icing I could cry with gratitude. Without my Kenwood everything would be iced in white, with lumps where I haven't quite mixed the icing sugar in properly.

But I'm shallow.  I'd ditch my Kenwood in the flick of a perfectly mascaraed eyelash for this object of beauty.

Is there anything more perfect than a Wonder Woman Kitchen Aid? How could my cakes fail to be anything other than fit for a goddess with this? An Amazonian Goddess at that.

The only thing that has stopped me form putting this on the credit card is that this is a custom paint job. Where do you go for a customer paint job on your Kitchen Aid? I also worry that doing a little research and finding out could prove very expensive. Sadly I have enough self-awareness to know that this would be in my kitchen for 30 seconds before I started looking at the kettle, toaster, microwave, dishwasher, cat...

See when you think about it like that, justifying over £60 for an apron actually starts to make sense.

Passion Projects

I want to write. I have done since I first held a pencil. Before smudge came home my plan was to use my evenings in with a small child and a shift working husband to write my bestselling series of novels. They were going to make me richer than J K Rowling. Although I am completely unashamed to plagiarise her kick ass awesome approach to taxation.

Needless to say becoming a parent to a toddler, dealing with social workers and getting completely tangled up in a web of depression, self doubt and anxiety left me feeling like a hollowed out shell of myself and incapable of anything creative.  In brief, I barely picked up a pen in 5 years.

Last year, still crippled with anxiety, I did something brave and went on a creative writing course at Strathclyde University. Despite having now completed both creative writing courses, 40 weeks of study, I am unable to put into words how transformative this was for me. I got a bit of the old me back and it was the bit that writes.  I try to write everyday, even if it's just for half an hour. Somedays I even haul myself out of bed at 6 to write while the house is quiet, admittedly not very often though.

I write this, short stories, a ranty journal and ever so occasionally I fight with stubborn characters and try to bully them into a novel.  I fail spectacularly, throw that notebook in a drawer and sulk with them until the next time. But even when I'm getting frustrated the scratchy noise of my fountain pen on the paper soothes.  The sight of my handwriting filling up a page makes me feel empowered. Whether, I'm workshopping some of my creative writing or just hitting publish on a blog the mere fact that I am sharing some of my words blows me away, I'm invincible.

Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to consider putting myself out there and seeing if I could actually make some pennies doing something I already love.  But not yet.  Right now I'm still practising.

Cinco de Mayo

Hooray today has a name. This is a good thing. Days with names are celebrations and celebrations have accompanying food. I do like days where you have to eat.

So despite having no connections whatsoever to Mexico, even tenuous ones I really have wracked my brain, today we celebrated Cinco de Mayo.

We celebrated with a BBC Good Food Chicken Mole. Partially because I like it but more because the ancho chillies were in a big packet and Chicken Mole is the only recipe I have managed to find which uses them - so far...

I should at this point apologise for using the BBC Good Food website picture. I'm not ashamed to admit that after I've been cooking for what seems like weeks the idea of delaying my dinner longer to take a picture does not compute so I'd eaten most of my tea before the thought even occurred to me - sorry. I've linked the pic so getting clicking if you want the recipe.

It takes a bit of making what with long stewing times and shredding chicken etc. but is well worth the wait and left us with very festive feeling tummies. Even though I am still at a bit of a loss as to what Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of.

We're all gonna die!!!

As soon as I read that today's #BEDM was about sci-fi I knew it was the perfect opportunity to get all up in your face about the apocalypse. My all time favourite genre has to be 'the world as we know it has ended /is ending'

Some of my favourites are here. A slightly longer list than I had anticipated. I know that lots of the titles have been turned into films and I'm trusting I don't need to get all evangelical about how much more amazing the book always is...

What works for me is that all my problems seem rather daft when I'm immersed in a world with more zombies that people or where there are only a handful of survivors after a super flu pandemic. Whether to paint the living room daffodil white or white birch isn't quite as pressing as fight or flight and while my bank manager might disagree, my overdraft is not quite as blood curdling as a plague of vampires created by the US Army banging at my door.

So if the world as we know it is about to end then despite my penchant for ridiculously high heels and perfecting my eyeliner flicks I'm your go to gal. I know that in our shed the crowbar is my go to zombie killing tool. I also know where it is and where the smaller crow bar is so that I can arm smudge. Although the thought of arming my 8 year old is actually more terrifying than the undead.

I am constantly aware that there is never enough food to keep us for long here but we can bike to my mother-in-laws. Bikes are good, they are quiet so as not to wake the zombies and don't need petrol which just won't be easy to get when the end of days comes. My mother-in-law's because that woman obviously knows something we don't and has been hoarding for years. The other distinct advantage of her house is it's proximity to an M&S food hall which will be ripe for looting. Just because it's the apocalypse doesn't mean I'm going to want to give up Percy Pigs!

Weekend Morning Routine

Weekend mornings shouldn't have a routine. But mine do, well the best ones do. I get to wake up later than usual.  I'm no longer greedy, anything after 8am is a treat. There is nothing to rush for.  No school bell, no clock watching boss, I'm in no hurry to leave my bed.

If I'm lucky smudge, who is always first up, will join me for a bit. Sleepy good morning cuddles with a tatty haired, jammie clad girl, discussing our plans for the day is a perfect beginning.

She never stops long. She loves a lazy morning as much as I do. Relishing the opportunity to get the living room to herself to hog the remote and demonstrate just how grown up she is making her own breakfast.

When the call of the coffee pot gets too loud to ignore I'll leave my duvet nest and join the pyjama party in the living room. I'll drink my coffee and read or join in the square eyeing. There is little conversation, just a Mum and her girl waking up together. Both just a little sad when the dog is cross legged and begging to be walked. Going upstairs, getting dressed breaks the spell.  Properly attired the day starts for real.

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5 Favourite Posts - errrm

Well this is awkward. How do I choose my five favourite blog posts when I only have five previous blog posts? So I'm going to go slightly off topic for todays #BEDM.  

Writing yesterday about what my blog is about got me thinking about what I want to write about and in a genuine coincidence I came up with five. So in no particular order:-

My daughter is adopted. We're in the process of adopting number 2. I'm passionate about my daughter and the sad stories that make us a family. I'm pretty sure that there will be times when I use this blog to vent about the inadequacies and failings of our system for protecting vulnerable children. But I also want to shout about what a great thing adoption is and how grateful I am that I get to be a Mum.

As a chaotic, disorganised mess of a person it is of no surprise that I am chaotic, disorganised mess of a parent. Very occasionally I manage to get something right and you'd better believe that I'm going to shout about that. I am also more than willing to share tales of woe and disaster. Expect many more of the latter than the former!

I am evangelical about the restorative powers of a bit of fiction and the escape a good book can offer. It will be a minor miracle if this doesn't creep into the blog. Also expect to find reviews of book shops. I have just worked out that this is a flawless way of justifying hours spent amongst the shelves. Although I'm not sure how I'll justify the bags of books I will doubtless bring home, will work that one out when I get to it.

I'm lucky enough to be living in a house we plan to be in for a good wee while. When we bought it we believed that nothing needed doing and that a wee lick of paint every now and again would be all it needed. Don't worry we weren't under that illusion for long. In the two years we've lived here the garden has been redesigned, a bedroom has been added and my list of projects just keeps getting longer. The only issue is cashflow. Even with g being a guru of DIY and doing everything himself it is going to be interesting working out how we get the place looking the way we want it to with the money we don't have.

I started cooking aged 11 during a decade long foray into vegetarianism and have been playing in the kitchen ever since. I'm a feeder and love entertaining family and friends. When I became a stay-home-Mum I started baking a lot more, it was a brilliant way of making the other Mummy's like me and encourage them and their little darlings to come and keep me and smudge company. Baking to mask massive insecurity and social anxiety, hell yeah!